Capitalising on Viruses
(Possible business opportunity?)

Last Updated: 14/06/2000 10:00

The following message has been sent out by email. This is a hoax as the "virus company" does not exist.

The hoax message appears below:

Subject:  Capitalising on Viruses,
possible business opportunity?

Viruses are one of the truly great
threats to the wired economy, but
to Lonell Navisem, they represent
something else entirely: the largest
untapped market in Internet history.
Navisem, 24, is the founder and CEO
of ViruSystems, an aggressive and
highly controversial startup that
intends to manufacture and sell
computer viruses. We sat down with
Navisem in his office in the
Malaysian capital to discuss
ViruSystem's groundbreaking,
and ethically suspect, business
model.

Q: Just so we have this straight,
you intend to manufacture and sell
viruses, and also to act as an
intermediary between IVMs (independent
virus makers) and the public, taking
a percentage of each sale. In other
words, you're going to manufacture

and propagate chaos.
A: We will not propagate chaos. On
the contrary, by placing viruses in
the commercial domain, we effectively
wrestle power away from nihilistic
hands and place it firmly within the
more rigid, responsible capitalist
system, where there is oversight and,
we believe, immense revenue potential.

Q: You're nuts.
A: I'm sorry?

Q: So, how did you come up with
this idea?
A: It was the Love Bug that opened
my eyes. That thing had 30-plus
mutations. It went out to something
like 50 million consumers. And in
the end, you know what it was?

Q: A multi-billion-dollar catastrophe.
A: Yes, that, but think big picture
That, my friend, was the biggest
bulk email in history, and it did not
carry advertising. Talk about a
catastrophe.

Q: That's sick.
A: Absolutely. You say to yourself,
'How could such a huge mass
marketing opportunity go unmonetized?'
Turns the stomach. So we are going to
change that. Not only will we make and
sell viruses, but we will sell
advertising space in the message that
goes with each virus unit.

Q: Ad space? Who would buy an ad in a
virus?
A: How about the anti-virus makers such
as Symantec and McAfee? There
is real synergy. In a single email, you
get a virus and an offer to buy
the vaccine. It is so obvious, I don't
know why nobody has thought of it
before."

Q: Maybe because it's illegal.
A: But it is not, here, anyway. It is
illegal to distribute viruses,
but we are only going to manufacture and
sell them, and sell ad space. What
customers do with the product is their
business.

Q: But what they're going to do is infect
other computers.
A: Not necessarily. It could be, say,
virus aficionados trying to complete
their collections. They have the '98
Melissa and the '97 Bubble Boy,
but they need the '00 Love Bug. Or even
more likely, they could buy a virus
for self defense.

Q: Self defense.
A: Yes. You know, 'Don't mess with me.
I'm packing bad code.' It helps level
the pitch. We give law-abiding Netizens
access to the same weaponry criminals
have.

Q: Hence your marketing slogan.
A: Yes. 'When computer viruses are
outlawed, only outlaws will have
computer viruses.'

Q: The gun lobby would be proud.
A: The parallels are undeniable. Like gun
makers, we produce and sell weaponry. But
remember, we also have an additional
revenue stream: we sell advertising space
on the bullets.

Q: OK, let me ask you this: viruses are
free, so assuming the 'virus collector
market' is not fiscally material, why
would nihilistic programmers actually
spend money on what they now make or
get for nothing?
A: Virus creators are cost-conscious,
that is true. But they are also
conscious of technology and outcome. If
they can build or download a free virus
that wipes out a few jpeg files, or buy
an outrageous virus that erases a hard
drive, we think they will choose the
latter.

Q: But you don't advocate using viruses
for that purpose.
A: No, of course not. But remember,
viruses don't kill computers.
End-users kill computers.

Q: Catchy, but self-serving.
A: On the contrary, you ask anyone who
works in tech support, they'll
swear by that statement